What Level of Fishdom Are We at Today, Sir?

I recall ending up in ER one night. What i don't recall are how many days I'd collectively been bed-ridden. All I could do was stare at the ceiling, search for sunlight escaping through the blinds. Silent and alone.

I got to the ER via my bf, at the time. He half dragged me, half carried me in. He could have carried me in, but I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself. I'm sure I failed. We waited for an hour. Maybe closer to two hours for them to call my name. I followed someone to the back area. I know I was laid down on a bed. I explained my symptoms.

The problem was that my symptoms made no sense at all. I had numbness. My back felt weak. I couldn't lift myself. Maybe nerves were wrapped around something?? They laughed at me. How nice of them. There are no nerves around your spine....like I'm the one with a mediacl degree. Thanx, Asshole! I felt like my back was pinched up. I had a lot of constriction around my sacrum (tailbone). No one had a clue. In not so many words, I seemed to be making stuff up.

I wait for another short eternity. By that time I am angry. Fueled by my fire, I was ready to rip off the wrist tag and leave. Or yell at somebody and then, leave. I waited. I was given some pills. More than likely Motrin - which does nothing for me. I've been prescibed it since I was around 11. If anyone had read my chart, they'd know that it doesn't work for me. I can down 40 of these pills with no effect. It wouldn't subside the pain, but it'd help kill my kidneys and liver.
Pills are useless on me. Unless they happen to be strong muscle relaxers. The downside to those is that they knock me out for about 2 days. I become useless. I spend the first day or two sleeping, non-stop. On the day after, I can't form a thought and I still want to sleep. I don't bounce back quickly at all. So I just grit my teeth through the pain. Or I drink like a fish.

What level of fishdom am I at today? Seems I inherited my Grandpa's "drinking gene". He could drink bottles of brandy and still be standing. I can do the same and wake up the next without a hangover, without sickness. Now that I'm older, I will wake up feeling more dehydrated. It's not the best thing I can do to myself. I also end up gaining weight quickly. My inability to exercise, with a body that won't function, a body that wants to sleep all the time, paired with alcohol, makes me a chunky and unhappy girl. I can't win. It's a sickening cycle.