Have You Confessed?

I had waited years to see Madonna. I have grown up loving her. But Madonna, I gotta tell you, our relationship is strained, Baby.

I bought a cheap ticket. Hahahahahaha....still holding my belly from this thought...... $110 ticket. I sat so high up I was above the lights. The oxygen was scares. You could watch all the other people climbing to their seats and you knew when the lack of oxygen was hitting them. Too many people and this high up was not pretty. We were a tough bunch. For $110 dollars, I expect a blow job, some snacks and a show. WTF, Madonna?!? You are no Sir Paul McCarthney! yet, somehow the man who was once part of The Beatles manages to keep his tickets low. I paid $60 for that one and I even got a light show and some comedy.

Madonna coming out of the sky in a shiny disco ball, dressed like she was going out to ride the horses was....well, .......kinda boring. I had waited years to have this moment and I was bored. I had 30 minutes of random thoughts and disbelief. Why did I spend the money? I could have gone to see Joe Jackson or Donna Summer. What was I thinking? Meanwhile, her dancers did a bunch of tumbling all over the sides and front of the stage.What made me think spending so much money to see Madonna was worth it?

Then, it hit me. Madonna is MY gay icon. I pretty much grew up to her. She was my drag queen persona, gay activists, nightly wet dream. Everybody has theirs; Judy Garland, Bette Midler, Elton John, whoever. Madonna is mine. So this was a full circle moment for me. I am still queer. That hasn't changed and now I had seen Madonna. I was in the process anyway. I am sad to say that I think I saw Mz. M too late in life. ....... She is no longer perfect in my eyes.

Madonna can not sing. Don't try to argue this one. You are dilusional!! It's up there with the moment that you find out Santa Claus is not real. Sigh. Madonna really can't sing. I know this because after about three years I have a three octave rang voice. Sadness. Madonna didn't tell stories, she wasn't incredibley engaging, she stuck to her routine like clockwork and I was still bored. Yes, I got up and attemped to dance in zero inches of space with little oxygen. I now feel like I was training for Everest;sitting in that one month period where your body has to aclimate until you can continue on.

Madonna flipping off the crowd and doing pelvic thrusts....must have been hot say 15- 20 years ago, but now it's kind of pathetic. I want to cover her up. There's no cool factor to it. She's not punk rock when her little girl has a $500/hr hair stylist. For pushing 50, Madonna looks fantastic! She can definately brag that her ass looks better than your ass. (She still has those freaky man hands though.)

I have to admit, the second half of the show seemed livelier. When the music for "Disco Inferno" blasted through, the crowd shot up to scream and dance. I was glad I made the effort to show up. Glad I finally saw MY gay icon. I'm even happy Madonna has grown up and found the Kabbalah. I wish she'd stop with the botox though. See her, at least once, dance your ass off and smile. It wasn't life changing, but it was fun. My favourite part was when she faked being tired and laid down on stage. Her backup dancers/singers covered her in a cloak and dragged her to her feet. the back of the cloak had a shiny,rainbowesqe disco ball. The cloak even had christmas-like lights. She opened it, as if she were gonna fly off stage like Batman. (With Madonna it's all possible,right?) Instead, I heard....."You must be my lucky star....". I thought, "No fucking way!" That's when I started squealing and jumping up and down like a Catholic school girl. The rest of the night was a blur.

And fuck buying a $60 t-shirt. i can go home and make my own or treat myself to a real good dinner. Or you can always hit the t-shirt scalpers outside. $10 bought me a pretty cool Madonna tank top. Worth the price and it fits great. I don't feel bad about it. Madonna didn't feel bad when she raped me outta $110. 'nuff said.