Holidays Are For Suckers

I am on a huge movie kick this weekend. It's another one of those holiday weekends that people become so jazzed up about because they are unhappy with their daily lives. How pathetic is it that 99.9% of the population lives for the weekend? That's 2 days out of the week, people. What if you get hit by a truck? Did you live your life the way you wanted to live it? Do the things you said you would?

I am a hermit by choice. It could also be bad timing. By spending half of my life or maybe even more than half, I have missed out on my generation. It's almost like a child who misses the kindergarten cut-off day and has to wait an extra year to join the class. So then, they are the oldest in class, a little bit out of the edges and never quite fit in. Kids develop differently at different ages. I gain more respect for Montessori teaching all the time. Look into it, you will, too.

I am not a fan of the holidays because they center around hanging out with friends and family, but if you don't have either around you, what do you do? Fireworks have lost their gleem for me. I don't even flinch when I hear them exploding in the dark. I could probably see them from my driveway, but even that requires effort. Maybe that's why people have kids...to get their gleem back. Yet, I still have my gleem. I'm just not interested in crappy holidays.

I have caught up on my errands, have the bills paid, and am now catching up on dvd rentals. "Blue Butterfly" was a touching story. I guess I am getting soft in my age. TeeHee. It's about a boy with brain cancer who wished to go to the rain forest. He is searching for this one magical butterfly. Apparently, it's based on a true story. The footage of the insects and forest animals was amazing. It also made me glad I was home.

I also picked up "Against the Wall". It's about graffiti artists. www.thequalityoflife-themovie.com It was filmed in The Mission District and has a soundtrack done by the band Halou. two of my favourite things. Can't go wrong with that.

It is also around this time of year that I become weird about my birthday. I start to doubt celebrating it. I doubt finding any joy in it or even that I'll have an friends to enjoy it with because they won't make the effort. My birthday is the same fucking day every year. No surprise, that's usually how it goes. Yet, suddenly people forgot or are planning a trip at that time or something came up. BUT when it's their birthday I am expected to be incredibly entertaining and caring wonderful gifts. So I have weeded out these ass-dragging friends. Fuck them. I can get new ones if I choose.

Speaking of ass-dragging friends....hmmm, how about ones who trade you in for strangers, just abandon you? I'd been nearly 4 years since I'd spoken to Sherry and out of the blue, last week, I receive an e-mail from her. It was a short one, just checking if I still used that particular e-mail addy. Here's the thing, I'd known Sherry over 10 years. She was full of drama the older we got and a victim to herself. So what does she do? The essential fuck-up; Sherry pairs up with a shite bf who is abusive on ALL levels.

One night, this prince of a man hits her and she calls me crying. He pulls the phone away from her and begins to explain to me why he had to hit her. I told him to fuck himself and that I did not care about him. He was of no importance to me. Of cousre, he hung up on me and broke her phone, but not before threatening to kill me. For some reason, this wasn't a sign to Sherry that he was a piece of shit. We never spoke again after that night. She fell off the face of the earth and out of my life. Nor did I run into her in public.

Now Sherry would like to be my friend again. What for? I have no use for drama. I have no use for a person who claims to value my friendship and then, sells me out to violence. I have moved on. I have no desire to share any details of my life with this person. She is now a stranger. I told her such and she thinks I might be indifferent , but can't tell. Sherry's still trying to be my friend. It serves me no purpose. I'd rather be alone.

Well, I need to get back to my batch of movies. I'm going to cue up "The Libertine". Maybe I'll venture out and look at some pretty lights in the sky. Be safe. Too many people drive drunk. It's not worth it.