I figure I am ocd for very good reason. I hate needles and germs can send me over the edge. I'm not comfortable with my own funk. I carry my deoderant with me often. I can't handle smelling. Sometimes I change shirts twice a day. I like feeling clean.
Maybe the Universe knew I was going to be a handful, knew I'd get myself into all kinds of trouble if I didn't have certain mental blocks.
I freak out at the thought of having to use a port-o-potty. It isn't as if I was raised in a fancy house with maid service. I have even cleaned houses for elderly women. I can't go to have my blood drawn without nearly passing out. Going to get tattoos becomes a huge mental meditation exercise for me. It's life changing and testing for me.
The way I see it is like this; I was meant to have these mental blocks. They have probably saved me from becoming a heroin addict or a porn star. If I wasn't so icked out about having good hygenie and who or what touches me, I could have put myself in some ugly situations.
Luckily, I am blessed and that is not me. I love my comfy bed and the luxury of clean socks. Every morning when I wake up, I do the exact same thing each day; I rush to the bathroom to rid myself of the ick that has grown on me overnight.
In this horrid heat, I have been squirming. I have a hard time falling to sleep because I can feel the sweat trickling down my legs, collecting on my back. I can't wait to rush to the shower. Still, I won't waste the water. I do my best to get in and out asap. If only I had a pool. Could I handle a pool with all those germs and chemicals? Do you think?
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