The Boots

I've mentioned my shoe fetish before. Being deformed, like I am, doesn't seem to stop me from believing my body will one day be more normal. That I will wear whatever pair of shoes I feel like wearing, when I feel like it. My left ankle is more warped than my right one. The right one almost passes for normal. Except both of my ankles are real thick. The bones are smashed inside of my foot. I have the x-rays to prove it. It's a miracle that I can even walk. If you saw the x-rays, you'd ask yourself outloud,"HOW?" It doesn't seem right.

I bought a pair of black suede Rocket Dog boots. I loved them. It was a gift to myself for about $100. A splurge due to my income tax return check. Maybe I should have gotten a size bigger. I don't know if it would have helped me.

I was excited to have dinner with a bunch of my friends. I am excited about growing older and what may come into my life and how I will grow and change. I wasn't out shopping for days for a new outfit. I figured I'd wear jeans, a nice top and those kick-ass, rock star boots. I got dressed, but ran around in flip-flops while I finished making a pitcher of party sangria. About 20 minutes prior to leaving to the restaurant, I decided to put on my boots.

The right one went on with a slight struggle. Nothing to worry about. The left one simple didn't go on. I wanted to have a little girl meltdown. These are my pretty boots and I want to wear them NOW!!! I tried again. I shifted the sparkly belt that's wrapped around each boot. It helped. I was stuck. My foot was angled in too far to the boot to give up now.

I continued to try. These boots were suede; using butter was not an option. Finally, it gave and I was set to go. I knew I would need help when I came home to take the boots off. i wasn't concerned. I have another pair of boots with a slightly similar issue. I should have known better. I should have know the process of putting them on was a clue as to how difficult it was going to be to take them off.

Dinner went well. It was yummy and pretty. They didn't let me pitch in for food. I didn't care either way. Considering that I did buy my own cake, it is appreciated that others picked up my dinner tab. Thanx!

I had my Mom help me take off my boots. We began with the left one. It was a hard task. She was having issues doing it and I was tired. It was hard to get the boot to shift. But the left one came off. Now the right boot was much, much harder. It was so difficult, my Dad had to come in and give it a go. It took about 20 minutes to get this boot off. I was doing okay with it. Except, I started to have a panic attack. Inside my head, I was screaming,"Get it off, get it off,now!!!" On the outside, I get started to pull harder and wasn't going to stop. I was tired and hurt. I got a little scared because I heard something in my left ankle snap. The boot finally came off.

Dad threw it on the floor and said,"Never wear these again!" I agreed.

My ankle hurt immensely. I don't know if I did any permenant damge to myself. I might not know for awhile. The boots didn't hurt to walk in. They were magically comfortable.I am sad because I can never wear them again. I might one day, but it won't be anytime soon.