If you haven't accidentally found Eric Victorino's myspace, let this be your exposure. The following is his blog entry and a mini-message I sent him. Peace in times of chaos.
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A Sweet Victory. A Bitter Defeat.
Category: Life
It happened. We were all huddled in front of the TV, tears welling up in our eyes, hands on our heads and covering our mouths - muttering things like, "it happened, I can't believe it really happened." My sister and my brother cast their first ballots in this election and the man they chose was the winner. I woke that November morning with a stomach tied in tight knots - Though I was always optimistic about Obama's chances, the past eight nightmarish years had bred a cynicism in me that almost caused me to refuse to accept the real possibilities of a win... I managed my expectations. I assumed the race would be close and it would be drawn out in courts like the last two were - and that the process would be hijacked and that ultimately the Republicans would steal the election for John McCain...
We were so angry in 2000 and 2004 but the tears we cried this time were the good kind.
Although I do have a right-winger brother in Texas who is probably on the phone right now with people from his church, ranting and raving about the sky falling down - The rest of my family is celebrating and has been bright blue for generations, my mother and grandparents flew high with the Kennedys on their rise to power and, of course, fell into the depths of despair when it was all taken away by hate... And here we are again, alive with HOPE.
Barack was raised in surroundings similar to my own - a single mother, we were poor enough to need help from the state government to get food, we lived with real world challenges... If there truly were a "Real America" as proposed by the Republican Party's defeated vice presidential candidate, I run the risk of hypocrisy by saying it, but wouldn't that reality, the one endured by struggling families all across this nation, be the Real America? The Real America? I think the real America is not a location, it's not a red or a blue state, it's a state of mind. The real America is in the hearts of people who believe in possibilities - people who believe in the American Dream... President Barack Obama is not just a visionary new breed of politician but a symbol of who we are now. He's living proof of the power of hope and determination. His victory in this election is a symbol of the progress we are still working to make in our culture. Our President is not a man who was born into privilege. There was nobody there to bail him out when he made mistakes in life - He had to learn from his errors. His father was not an Admiral or a CEO or the Head of the CIA, his father was a man who put himself through college in the United States when the rest of his village was content living in the African desert, he was not a perfect man, he was an absent father and Barack was subsequently raised by his mother and his grandparents - He rose from these beginnings to become the President Of The United States Of America. Think about that. A man far more akin to you, a man who has lived a life far more similar to the life I am living, a man who understands the diversity and the nuances of American life, pop culture, technology and the future has now been elected to lead us.
President-Elect Obama said it very well in his speech in Grant Park - This election is not the victory, this is not the Change - this is the opportunity to make change, this is the beginning of a long, hard road... Now, I've heard a lot of grumbling from cynics about how the next four years aren't going to be any different - How the president doesn't really matter so much, he's just a figurehead, I should watch the Zeitgeist movies, blah blah blah... But that myth about the president being useless - it hasn't always been that way - that's a new thing, courtesy of the GOP. Just watch what happens in Obama's first term - He's going to be the worst nightmare for all these fat pigs in our government, he's going show us what can be done with the powers of the Office Of President when the person who wields it is honorable.
Last night was a night I will remember forever, we all will. This was our generation's Apollo mission, it's that massive and I am so proud to see a campaign of positivity and hope defeat one of fear mongering and corruption. Our work has just begun, let's take the energy and passion we poured into spreading the word about Barack Obama and let's keep reaching out, let's keep researching ways to make a difference. Let's BE THE CHANGE WE WANT TO SEE…
We all just witnessed the proof that we are not helpless, we are not living in a dictatorship, this is still a democracy for and by the people…
There's the sweet, now for the bitter.
As a forward thinking, peace loving, tolerant resident of California, I am disgusted and shocked by the decision made by our state to strip away and existing human right. The passing of Prop 8, to take marriage away from the Gay Community, is appalling to me... The religious right seems to think our civilization would collapse if gay couples were given the same respectful treatment as straight couples - like they're somehow "protecting" traditional marriage - Nobody is attacking traditional marriage by suggesting the same privilege be extended to couples with different sexual preferences - regular marriage would have been unchanged and unchallenged - nobody was suggesting that by recognizing the rights of homosexuals to enjoy all of the social, legal and financial benefits of formally recognized marriage we would be in any way devaluing traditional marriage... and by the way, news flash everyone - gay marriage was legal already. Gay couples were getting married every day in California - but people voted last night to stop it...
Our state voted last night to take away a hard fought human right. We're going to amend our state constitution as per the passing of Prop 8.
I am so ashamed. I thought the people of California were less hateful, more tolerant of our differences.
What's more, prop 2 passed.
Proposition 2 states that animals like chickens and pigs in farms have the right to stretch their legs and wings and all that is really great too - cruelty tastes like shit - I'm happy that one passed - but it passed with flying colors - people overwhelmingly agreed that farm animals have the right to be treated fairly before we kill them and eat them - and yet, in the same voting booth, those people decided gays are less deserving of rights and respect than are farm animals.
I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I talk with my gay friends about this - we were all so sure people were more evolved, more progressive, more decent... What a shock it was to see the results on the news. Here in California, with both San Francisco and West Hollywood, the gayest places in the country - a majority apparently believes that there are still a couple of groups it's ok to discriminate against. Maybe we're starting to move away from our racist past, but we're missing the point of the whole civil rights thing. People are people; they all deserve the same treatment. People of all races are fighting against white ignorance and self proclaimed superiority, women are still battling for equal treatment at home, at work and in our legal system - And I'm so happy to know that they are winning new ground for their causes, but we can not talk about equality for all people while we make exceptions for some groups.
Gays and atheists (and as of 2001 anyone of Arab descent) are the ones it's still OK to hate. Sure, we'll listen to the music of godless heathens, they seem to know the most about gnarly guitar tones and crazy stage shows - Sure, we'll still watch gay men on TV, they're hilarious and they've got great style - Just keep them away from our kids, right? It's absolutely insane that we're still talking about different people and whether they should be allowed to have or do the same things as everyone else.
Naturally, I blame religion. There is no other explanation for it because this can't be a law written to protect the public...
Why else would anyone become obsessed with preventing consenting adults from seeking their own private pleasures? What else, if not religion, would motivate otherwise good people to hate a group of others based solely on something as inconsequential as their sexual desires? Is it for the sake of public safety? I can understand if a sex act had direct consequences for the safety of the whole - let's say %95 of people who titty fuck a girl will finish up, put their pants on, then walk out their front door and start a killing spree. In that case I could see why a law might be passed to ban titty fucking. That would make perfect sense because the pursuing of their private pleasures would then pose a threat to the safety of the public. There are currently laws in 13 states banning anal sex. 9 of those states have laws specifically banning sex acts between members of the same sex. And unfortunately, as of last night, California's Constitution will be altered to prevent gay couples who love each other just as much as straight couples from having the same rights.
How is this protecting the public?
What makes people in the government think they have the right to intrude on the private pleasures of its citizens?
I'm married and I could not imagine if I were in an accident and was about to die and someone else had the authority to prevent Sarah from visiting me on my deathbed - I can't imagine, if I were to die, having anyone else decide what should be done with my stacks of journals, my possessions, my pets or my kids - she's the person I love. She's my partner and the person I have chosen to trust with everything... Think about that - think about your love and your life and the idea that your government can decide that you don't have the right make that decision anymore - just because you love someone who's got the same parts between their legs as you have... Just because they believe that the same God that made all of us perfect just how we are - has also decided that 'you're doing it wrong' - event though you're doing it as naturally as everyone else... Put yourself in this position: You're a gay man, you've been in love with one beautiful man for years and years - he's the only person in the world who really knows you - and there you are in that hospital bed - you're in and out of consciousness but you could have sworn you just overheard a your doctor telling your father that you aren't going to live through the night... All you want is to see the love of your life one more time... When you close your eyes for the last time and you finally pass away - he's alone and crying in the waiting room because your father, who was always against your "lifestyle" would not let him in the room to see you and he didn't have the legal right to be there...
If you were married he would have been there, holding your hand when you died... But the government decided your love isn't real, it isn't natural, your relationship didn't deserve the same respect as a 'traditional' one...
Even though I've thought about this scenario a bunch of times I still teared up a little bit writing this, because it's real. This happens every day.
Some of these people believe that it's OK to be gay. They just think gays shouldn't be allowed to be married or to raise children because a child needs a mommy and a daddy. It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve... all of that shit - it's ridiculous. Two men who love each other and love their child will raise that child just as well as a man and a woman in love and they might raise a child better than a man and a woman in a bad marriage. Is a child better off being raised in a home where the husband regularly abuses them and beats his wife? Is a child better off in a home where the man is traveling on business five days a week and leaves the mother at home to raise the kids alone? If two women are raising a baby, are they somehow at a disadvantage because there's not a penis to be found between them? If marriage is so sacred, let's make divorce illegal. If we're going to decide that the only right way form a family a man, woman and children, then let's take it all the way. Let's make it illegal for women to go to work, let's keep them at home with the kids, where they belong. Right? Let's make a law that says if a single woman gets pregnant, not only is she not permitted to decide whether or not she'll carry that baby to term but that she will be required to find a man and get married before that baby is born, because that's how a family is supposed to look. Maybe next, we should think about a new law that prevents interracial marriage - Think of the children - their lives are made so difficult when they have to pick sides, are they black? Are they white? How cruel their parents were to bring them into this world at such a disadvantage. What is that child supposed to think of himself if he doesn't readily slide into a slot? How's he gonna know who to hate if he doesn't even know what side he's on? We believe whites should marry whites and blacks should marry blacks so let's make a law! What could a bi-racial child ever make of himself? President? - Oh, wait.......
Only religion, only people believing in God and that they know what makes God tick. They think that they've been chosen to be God's Cops - that's the only way people could think they have the right to write laws like this.
Nevermind all the contradictions in the idea of human beings carrying out God's will on Earth - Let's just look at it for what it is.
It's another shadow our culture will struggle to forget. It's a civil rights issue, just like women's suffrage, just like segregation, it's a skeleton in our collective closet...
I hope to see an openly gay president someday, standing on the White House lawn, holding hands with the First Dude - I hope we grow that much in the next fifty or sixty years - You know, there are people still alive right now, our parents and grandparents who were alive when blacks weren't allowed to eat at the same restaurants as whites, old people who were beaten by cops in race riots when they were teenagers - they were fighting to be treated with the same respect and rights as everyone else - this was not so long ago - this is not ancient history, it's practically yesterday - but it took place in a different America - These people have fought all their lives for equality and now they've seen a black man elected president in their lifetime.
That's a sign of progress. That's hope. That's change coming... THAT is the REAL AMERICA.
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You wrote exactly what I wanted to write regarding Prop 8. I woke up this morning and said to my Mom,"Now I'm never going to get married." I'm happy and sad all at once. Yet, I know we'll all continue to fight. And I agree, it's all down to religion.
My Dad said his pr spin would have had posters saying - Yes on 8 = priests molesting your sons. Maybe that would have changed things. He's funny like that. My Dad was born in Mexico, lived and raised himself on the streets, he's very religious. Yet, he believes once they take one of us out of the way (meaning minority groups), the rest are sure to follow.
Thank you for your words.
Love and Light,
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